And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
