I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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