U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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