your parents love me but you hate me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did I show you my penis last night?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
