She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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