I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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