Got a toothbrush?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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