I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
