he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
