We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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