i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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