I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
