I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
