If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
