Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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