i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
