I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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