I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
