There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
