how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
