He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
