p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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