I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
