If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
