So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
