Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
