I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
cat food counts as protein by the way
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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