he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
