Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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