Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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