I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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