drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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