Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
