You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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