I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
