sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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