i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I understand Curling. That high.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
