Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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