but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
