Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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