Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
