So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
