i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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