And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
