its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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