my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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