so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
