I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
