I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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