i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
