I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
