Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
