Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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